Tried to figure out a way to contact Hollywood Farm Girl (Tammy Lynn Michaels). I met her years ago & wanted to offer her some words of support. She was really cool when I met her. I met her at the GLAAD Awards many years ago, with Melissa. Melissa didn't want to take the picture with me (I think shyness more than being a jerk), but Tammy was all for it & was so funny.

I haven't written in forever. I know I should be better about it. Truth is, I'm deeply, deeply depressed, & I tend to cut myself off from the world the more depressed I get.

As I was sitting here writing this, a friend just randomly started being a jerk and called me a "simple mind." Nothing like friends who really know how to be there for you, right? I said, "What nights are you off next week," and he started typing a bunch of smileys. So I asked again. He said, "My schedule is not out yet." Surprised, considering schedules are supposed to be out 2 weeks in advance, I said, "What????" And he repeated himself & added, "I didn't know I was dealing with a simple mind." I said, "Simple mind?" And he said, "What's with all the questions? What is it you want to know & why?" I said, "It was one question. 'What nights are you off next week.' One question. I wanted us to see a movie together. Never mind."

Geez.

In all fairness, he IS an ex-boyfriend who cheated on me, but we're pretty good friends, & last time I saw him we were fine. Maybe he's drunk. He's a nasty drunk. Maybe I'm making excuses for him yet again.

Anyway....

Not much new to write about. I had a teensy part in "Valentine's Day." I have a black Bettie Page hairdo & say "Hi Morley" to Jessica Alba's character. I worked 4 days on the movie & said more than that, but as usual for me & Garry Marshall, I'm lucky to end up seen or speaking at all. I'm hoping for some sort of part in "New Year's Eve," or whatever it will be called, but I shant hold my breath, either.

Having trouble holding onto my house. I just need to make more money. It kills me that I work my butt off 5 days a week & can't make ends meet. I've been with this company for 12 years now! You'd think I'd be making a better living. I have no money for anything extra. I have no money for my bills. No money for gas/food. It's pathetic, it really is. I need to fix things on my car....no money. I need new headshots, desperately, if I'm to get an agent....no money. I'm going to try to set up the tripod & get a decent headshot of myself (yes, taken by myself), and then try to figure out how to come up with the money to get them printed up. I haven't had a new headshot in at least 5 years or so. I had short, blonde pixie hair & was considerably thinner. That was pre-seizure meds, pre-last seizure when I blossomed sideways. Ugh. Then I went through 3 years or so of black hair, and now I'm back to blonde hair (mostly....parts still look orange where the black didn't want to leave me), and it's long again. If I wanted to cut off most/all the orangey parts, it would be really short again. I'm not ready for that yet, though I will probably get back to short hair eventually. But I've been wanting it long for a while, so now that it is...I'm not ready to let it go.

Even though I'm not a big fan of hers, I was impressed to read that Elisabeth Hasselbeck changed her stance on gay marriage after having dinner with Melissa Etheridge. She was opposed and now she's for gay marriage. Good for her. I have posted about gay marriage several times on my FB statuses, & I have yet to have one person give me a legit, intelligent reason why gays should not marry. If your argument against gay marriage is religious, you should rent the DVD "For the Bible Tells Me So." If it's for non-religious reasons....huh? I mean, I cannot think of a single viable reason--that's not stupidity or fear based--for gays to not be able to get married. I think I do believe churches should be able to personally decide if they want to hold gay marriages there, but my reasoning for that is this: if you were a gay couple, why would you WANT to get married in a church that opposed your love???? Wouldn't you want to get married surrounded by positivity, love, & support? Personally, I don't get the connection between religion and marriage at all.

But then I'm unmarried and will likely stay that way.

Enough for now. My cats are curled up sleeping next to me, & I think I shall take that as a hint. I had a huge list of things to do today and tomorrow, & I didn't get anything done today...other than rest, which IS very important, for sure. My job is really tiring me out...not to mention the depression. There isn't much that's more exhausting than wanting to die.